I haven’t shared in a while, and I am sorry about that. Life however, has been busy and ever changing. In good ways.
Work keeps me busy, which is a good thing. New people, new experiences. Being around infants is hard, but rewarding for the work I do. It’s never going to be easy being around babies, but one day at a time is how I do it.
To be honest, it’s been a year and I’ve come to an overwhelming but deeply clarifying conclusion in these last few days. It’s time to stop focusing on trying to have children, and focus on here and now. It consumed me to try every month, only to be devastated yet again and again….and again. I now realize my life isn’t defined by me getting pregnant. It never has been. My life is just as fulfilled and full of love as it ever was. I am no less a person because my child is not here with me, nor do I love less. People say you never know love till you have children and you “just don’t get it unless you’re a parent.”
I call bull on that. I am no less a human because I have no living children, nor do my experiences mean less because of it. The love I have for my husband and family and friends is no less than my love for my lost child, or any child that we may have later. Love is love. I wish people would stop putting that love for children on some pedestal, like it is something more meaningful and deep than love for any other human being. I love. I only wish I could love everyone, like Jesus would want. I fall short in that department, but I am trying.
Love is love is love. Your love is no better or deeper or meaningful than mine. Nor is mine to yours. Some day we will have more children. I believe that with my whole heart, but I’m not going to define my life and happiness on it. There that’s off my chest. ❤️😀
With that, this is my last post for a while. I headed in a new direction in life, and I am super excited for the possibilities God has in store. Time to move forward, not back, and enjoy the little things. Every. Single. Day.