Uncharted Territory

So I felt I had to share this experience today. At work we were talking about children, which naturally comes up often in conversation. This happens not just at work, but throughout life as people wonder if you have children. It’s something that never stung or took my breathe away, that is until our loss last year. Since then I find myself politely responding no when asked, but dying inside to be honest. I want to scream YES! We have been parents! Not as long as others, but we were for 7 wonderful weeks. When I tried to say something to that effect a few months ago, I was told no, you HAVEN’T been parents yet. It hurt so bad I decided it best not try and say otherwise. People just don’t get it. Today however, I said it! Sort of. “When you have kids….” then I said “Well….I do have an angel baby but yes when I do…” IT FELT AMAZING TO SAY. I’ve never said it like that, in that conversation, in that way…..so very proud! Proud that our angel baby is in Heaven, looking down, hopefully proud of his/her parents. There was no mean comments after, and the conversation just kept moving. I’m okay with that! It felt normal to say, and it felt normal to keep on moving. It was a great moment in my life, and a breakthrough I am humbled to have finally experienced more than a year later. I couldn’t have made it this far without the love of God, the love of a good man, and of course everyone else who matters. It’s all uncharted territory everyday for Jason and I. Dealing with our pain, dealing with hurdles and bumps in the road, but doing it together hand-in-hand.  This is how we do it though, with love and laughs!

 

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